Ya’ll I am having a day at work…Some shit just made me soooooooooooooooooooo mad….I had to call my boss, who is black, (thank God for black bosses) and he had to calm me down! You ever have someone play in your face at work? Like you dead ass wanted to ask “Motherfucka are you serious right now!? Really!?” I was gonna come on here and talk about how WAWA hoagies got me in a chokehold and how I eat one every night for dinner but can’t seem to lose weight…but NO! Now I’m talking about this shit! I don’t think ya’ll understand how dope it is to have a black boss. Like, I got an email, and read that shit with “who the fuck you think you talking to face?” and immediately called him. He was able to calm my livid ass down. I told him that I dead ass wanted to drive my ass to NYC on some “say it to my face” type shit. He cracked up and said please don’t make me call the state police to stop you….Bah!!!! Then he reminded me to take my emotions up out the mix because if I kept getting spicy, it’s gonna be about everything but the issue I’m having because, ya know…
Anyway, spring is about to be here and I’m still gonna be mad portly because I’m not doing the shit I’m supposed to be doing. WHY-IS-IT-SO-HARD? Fuck! This is supposed to be my comeback year! This is supposed to be the year I get all the hoes while simultaneously shitting on all these hoes. Again, FUCK! Like I dead ass paid my trainer for the whole month and I’ve only been to see him once. ONCE! What kinda shit is that!? I will not accept the fact that I am now and will forever be a BBW. I have skinny wrists damnit! My wrists don’t match my body bro! Sidenote – I can always tell those BBL jawns because they be having snatched ass waistlines with big mama “around here we cook with Crisco” arms. Like I was following this one chick cuz she had this slim ass waistline and she was talking all this shit about the marvels of the keto diet. THEN I realized her big ass arms. Bitch that wasn’t Keto, that was Lipo! Popeye ass arms!
Anyway, pray I get it together! I have a gym membership, a personal trainer, two trails near my apartment and the only exercise I do is walking to and from my car to get take-out. Just trash! I cleaned my kitchen yesterday and got winded bro. Winded! What is this hell I’ve created for myself? I’ve been binging “My 600lb life” as motivation…while eating hoagies… I have to have the same dedication with my diet and exercise that I have when I stalk the niggas of my dreams…